The Life of Matthew

Today was a big day for me - indeed a big day in any young man’s life. I had my first date AND, best of all, my spot cleared up in time for it!

I was a little nervous at finally meeting Mathilda. She’s been writing to me and telling me that I’m cute I suppose I was worried that she might not think so when she saw me in real life. Daddy said that on his first date he wore a brushed denim jacket/trouser number and a floral print shirt so I made sure that Mummy dressed me! She stepped up to the plate and I looked great in my Ralph Lauren outfit. Mummy and Daddy said I looked very handsome but they’re supposed to say that so I hope Mathilda thought so too. I thought she was very cute.

She is older than me, though, so she’s a lot more experienced. I mean, she can stand up! I can’t stand up. I’ve only just learned to sit up properly on my own. And she crawls! I was happily playing with her toys and suddenly she was zooming around the room. It looked very exciting, I can’t wait until I can do that. And she has many more teeth than I have and a lot more hair and she can say real words. She doesn’t have to wait for someone to sit her down and feed her, she can take food herself and eat it. She was eating something called a biscuit. I don’t really know what that is except that Mummy eats biscuits and she likes them very much.

We sat together on the play mat and on the settee while the grown-ups chatted. Mathilda let me play with her toys and she patted me on the back and tried to grab my ear. I tried to hold her arm and everybody said, “Ahhhhh.” But, like I said, she is older and more experienced and at one point she started trying to take my clothes off. That was just moving too fast for me, I’m not ready to commit to such a relationship yet. Even our mummies were scandalised. Mathilda got moved away and I was able to keep my socks on for the rest of the date.

We had a lovely time and I know Mummy and Daddy enjoyed the chance to talk to other grown-ups about babies and all the developmental stages and everything that they’ve just gone through. Mummy’s done that before but for Daddy it was a first. And Mathilda’s Mummy and Daddy (future in-laws?) are very nice and we all liked them very much. They gave me an England rugby shirt to match Mummy’s and Daddy’s. I can’t wait to wear that. I had wanted to take flowers for Matilda but Daddy said that was being a softie and that girls don’t like flowers on the first date. I sometimes wonder how he ever managed to woo Mummy!
My favourite toy out of Mathilda’s was a mobile phone with buttons and lights and sounds. I’m going to get my own phone because I like things with buttons on them, like the TV remotes. Maybe having my own phone will stop me from wanting to play with the remotes - not likely!

Mathilda is coming back again in six weeks time. I hope I’ll get a second date.

Until next time, bye bye